Feedback on Catch Me First

I started this as a response to Karen's comment on the last post and then realized I have more to think about than just a comment.


That assignment was the same professor, but a different project as Snowman Baseball. The snowman photo was more of a composition assignment. This was find an existing photo and tell the story assuming this image is the fulcrum point in the story - the moment when change occurs for one or more of the characters.

In class yesterday I got official feedback on the snowman story and unofficial "pitch it in class and then discuss" feedback on this story. In both cases the professor was kind of lukewarm. This story is too sweet and has no conflict. And that's a valid comment really.

In any case I've already moved on.

I'm on fire

I have been so productive in the last 48 hours.

The Director's Cut

Or maybe I should say it's the writer's cut. Anyway, I showed Good News/Bad News (aka the pregnant couple story) in class last Wednesday. I got a bunch of little detail-y feedback from the professor on the production, which I can't do anything about now, and on the edit which I can. So I've been working on re-cutting it before I post it for you to look at.

All those details are fine, but then there's this: at the macro level I didn't communicate what I was intending. The professor looked at the scene and said wow, what a bitch! She's really mean, why is she toying with him so much? I responded that she's not meant to be toying, she's meant to be reassuring. So we looked at my classmates - all guys - and asked what they thought and they all agreed with the prof. I asked them again later when the prof wasn't around because of course that's going to affect what you'll say even if you don't intend it to. They said, well, we knew what you meant because we'd talked about it before ever shooting, but now that he points it out, yeah, she does seem mean.

The rest of the location challenge

If I had more time I would keep working on this, but I need to settle on the images so that I can come up with story ideas for them. We only really have to have a story for 1 of the 4. I've got my 2 page script for the snowman story done. I do still have to do the "one page paper identifying, as specifically as possible, the ways your composition forces the action - and ultimately reveals elements of your characters' persona." which is next on my to-do list. 

Location Location Location

We have our next challenge exercise for Thesis Prep this week. Here's the assignment:

Find 4 different locations, 2 exterior and 2 interior. Each location should have one of the following four elements as a dominating feature:

• Deep space 
• Diagonals
• Back lighting
• Symmetry

Note: Deep Space does NOT mean lots of space. It refers to the audience's sense of an exit on the Z axis. Note: Diagonal must be an organic feature of the scene; no tipping the camera to achieve the diagonal!

Compose a single photograph of each location. Upload to the class server. These photos must be taken specifically for this challenge. Then, pick one of your compositions and write a short 2 page script (or treatment) for a scene taking place in that location. You should have a total of three characters. Finally, write a short, one page paper identifying, as specifically as possible, the ways your composition forces the action - and ultimately reveals elements of your characters' persona. In other words, explore how your location, as conveyed through your composition, connects the audience to your characters.

The Blizzard

In DC they call this Snowmageddon. In New England they call it Winter.

(More added after lunch walk.)

First Draft

All right, it's just the very first draft so assume that it needs a lot of work and give me all the suggestions and comments you have. But I sat in the cafe in question and wrote this out this afternoon. It will hopefully become my Production 2 final project. There is an 8 minute cap but that doesn't mean it has to be 8 minutes, just up to 8. This should come in around 5 which is a good length.

Here's the PDF.

And I've got no ideas on a good title, so help brainstorming that would be much appreciated.

You know, the popular software for writing screenplays is called Final Draft. I find that kind of ironic. Your draft is never really final until the cameras start rolling.

Good News/Bad News

So this weekend I shot the scene exercise about the couple trying to get pregnant, which for the moment has the working title Good News/Bad News. We did that yesterday and I think it went very well. I've only skimmed the footage so far, but the actors were fantastic. I get such a charge out of hearing something I've written performed by people who can really act. We workshop things in class sometimes, but it's so not the same.