Let me tell you a story

We've been doing these exercises in getting down to the heart of a story using film language. What can you see? What are they doing? Even though I have a draft of Grandpa's Getaways already, and in fact it's draft number 7 or 8, I want to back up and try to tell the story using Jan's technique before I do revisions to the script and turn it in again for Mary Jane.

It is actually turning out to be very hard to do and is taking me quite a while. I haven't read the script in a month or so and I'm not letting myself open it up now. The current script doesn't matter. What matters is what story am I trying to tell? It's not good to just say I'm trying to practice making a spy story. Scenes with no meaning are boring even if they're cloaked in espionage and chases and stuff.

I can't seem to take all the language out. But then people talk to each other. It's part of what they do. But I keep aiming for if this were in a foreign language would you still know what's going on? I used to watch Spanish language soap operas at the laundromat in Takoma Park and even though I don't speak a word of Spanish I usually knew pretty much what was going on. Not by what people said, but by how they said it.

Once upon a time there was an old man named Will who lives in a nursing home with his wife May. Will and May like to spend nice days sitting outside watching the world go by. Their primary nurse Annie puts up with this and comes out to them.

A taxi pulls up in front of the nursing home owned by the son of one of the residents. The taxi reminds Will of when he and May were young FBI agents and he used a taxi to rescue May from the Russians. May claims Will never rescued her in a taxi. Annie doesn't believe any of it.

Will tries to figure out where his memory failed and what really happened when they stole the blueprints from the Russian embassy.

Annie leaves them each a coffee, setting off a round of complaints from Will. May doesn't like coffee.

The chatter sparks May's memories.

Young Will and May are quickly and methodically searching an office. File cabinets: no. Under the desk drawers: no. Behind the painting on the wall: no. Under the carpet: no. Hidden panels in the wall: no. They are meticulous about leaving no trace.

The ding of an elevator catches their attention.

They retreat to an empty office, pulling a fire alarm on the way. Keeping an eye on the first office they see a man quickly enter. He notices that the door was not fully locked. A scan of the office shows nothing missing. He pulls forward a bookcase, peers behind it, pushes it back in place. He quickly leaves down the stairwell.

May sends Will after the man. She goes into the office. She pulls a set of blueprints out from behind the bookcase.

At a coffee shop May waits impatiently tapping at an untouched cup. Will finally arrives. Somewhat obviously May passes him a small roll of film. She also points out his untied shoelace. When he finishes with his shoe May gets overly cuddly with him. She uses that as cover to get the film back.

Will leaves, taking May's coffee with him. A moment later he is followed by a nondescript man in a dark suit.

Late in the day the sun is nearing the horizon and Will and May are still outside. The taxi owner comes out of the building, hops in, and drives off. Will remarks that if he had a chance to leave he'd never come back. Like the old days he would run and run and run.

Annie comes out to bring them inside for dinner. Will refuses. The sun is almost setting. May loves the sunset, they should stay until it's done.


At one edge of a city park May watches Will stroll along the path. 50 yards behind him she can see the man from the cafe keeping pace. That man exchanges a nod with an older man he passes, it's the man from the office. May takes a piece of chalk from her pocket and puts a mark on the bench she is sitting on, then she calmly gets up and walks away. 

Will makes his way around to the bench, sees the mark pointing left, breaks into a run. He leads both men on a chase through back alleys until he hears a sharp whistle. He veers left, back onto a main road. As soon as the younger pursuer passes May steps out of the doorway to face the man from the office. He skids to a halt. They face off, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Before either does, a group of people exit the building obliviously walking between May and the man. May attaches herself to the back of the group and walks of with them.

At the river at sunset May waits in her best party dress watching the sun dip toward the horizon. Just before it does Will joins her. May looks him over, checking for injuries. Only his knuckles are abraded. He cleans up nicely. Once the sun has set Will escorts May off for a date at a nice restaurant.   


Back at the nursing home Will and May are enjoying the sunshine outside again. The taxi is pulling away, father and son together. It reminds Will of the time the Russian captured May and he used a taxi to stage her escape. May says no, that didn't happen.

Annie comes out with a pair of chunky granny orthopaedic shoes. May resigns herself to the switch. Will fusses. May doesn't like shoes with laces.

In a damp dark basement Will is tied to a chair. A single bulb dangles above him. May enters quick and quiet. She uses a knife to cut him free. May: how did they catch you? Will: my shoe came untied. How did you find me? May: I'm smarter than them. The sound of footsteps quiets them. They split up running in opposite directions. 

They are back in the park, together this time. Will pulls out a ring. May accepts.

The taxi returns and father and son slowly make their way inside. Will waits until the doors close behind them and then grabs May's hand. He leads her to the taxi, then gets in the driver's side and pulls slowly away.

Annie comes out in time to catch them going. As she watches a dark 4-door sedan pulls up. A couple get out both dressed in Navy blue suits. They flash FBI badges at Annie and ask for May. Annie points out to the main road where the world's slowest getaway is in progress.