A couple of weeks ago I met with Charles and he gave me feedback on Ghost Tours. Some specific things, but also some broad things. Namely: What's Sarah's real struggle? What is it that she wants and who/what is keeping her from it? Because it's fine for me to say the world is a magical place and she's missing it because she's too focused, but that's not actually something she wants. That's something I want, for her to open her eyes to the amazing things around her.
If you're inclined to read the next draft, read it first before reading the rest of this post.
Ghost Tours
I would like to state for the record that it was Charles who suggested the struggle could come from doing the PhD and conflict with her professor. But I thought it worked, complimented what I was already going for. Her being focused on the business is what's making her miss that her friends are ghosts. Her being focused on trying to please the professor is what's making her miss what she got into history for in the first place. So when her eyes get opened to the ghosts it also opens her eyes to the PhD problem.
So I have a bunch of new scenes - also got rid of some stuff and reworked some stuff. It's the first draft of the new stuff of course, but it's making the whole thing feel very first draft again. It's not quite working yet, but I do think it's not a bad direction. I need to send it to Charles by the end of the weekend so that he has a couple days to read it before we meet next Wednesday. Any feedback would be very welcome (even if it's not till later, feedback is always welcome).
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